Lap Layers Reprise

Lap Layers Reprise


Stroke me
dip your fingers in my hair
as I rest in your lap.


Charge me
with the smoulder touch
and static smooth of digits five.


Let electric motion
spark up my spine
and recharge my tired torso too.


We lay here wanting
heavy heads on flesh pillows
dancing tips of rain stick prints.


Rest me
let it pour from me
and wash it from my hair.


Oil it and slick it to me
part it and divine it a course
as it falls it drapes and covers.


Red sea
blood bathe
and follicle fellatio.


Let us reprise
lap layers
we are wanton to your hands.


We will dress and anoint
leave our heads bare
and bare our humility.


Samson among us
leave us our dignity
and spare us our locks.


Let us hide ourselves
locked in our locks
and concealed in curls.


Teach us how to love our faces
to open drapes
and reveal visage.


We can
we just are weak at times
and need a moments peace.


Grant us gatekeeper
as we look up to you from rest
weary eyes and steeled up chests.


You are our masters
our keepers
our base station at the mountain.


You are the supporters
and the creators of great men
the laps of the great lap layers.


Let them reprise before war
they are off to battle 
and won't be soon to return.


But they come back 
baring fruits
to lay in laps reprised.


-Matthew Koutzun

What brings me to this floor

What brings me to this floor


It's funny being reduced.


It comes in an instant
and grasps a spot in me I keep trying to bury away.


I tried to cauterize the wound
to burn it with the extremes of grief and surrender myself to the howling emotion.
I let it
spiral me down
and infest in me so that it could fill me up
spill out
and I could start from empty.


But that hollow
it wanted full
and with no replacement
no equal
what else can it find but what it knows.


So in these moments I'm reduced.
Minimized and sacrificed to thought.
Over the strangest things.
Things I never would have gleamed a fear or sadness from suddenly overtake me
and their tiny
all be it
formidable acquaintance with my own experience moves me motionless on the floor.


Children's television shows
a name mentioned in passing
a meal once recalled
walking out an elevator
trapped on a balcony naked
seeing a pattern on a pillow
a sock left by accident
a puzzle half completed
a jar of pickles wasted
a bottle of hot sauce saved.


What each means is only a known guess
a secret kept in passing.
They are only moments etched forever
that grace and dance like moths.
May they not lose their momentum
and have them circle once again.


-Matthew Koutzun

Moths

Moths


"To the Flame," I chant.


Your fire burning high in the field,
wood bend upon stick
and log upon branch,
as your light rivalled the sky
and cavaliered smoke and fume.


I never understood why you built it as high as you did.


The only thing bright in the night.
It called out to the moths you feared so much.
The light calling- smoke dispelling.


You would keep them at a distance with your fumes
as you danced in the heat of your flames.


Of the one insect you could of feared I never understood the moth.


Maybe it was the dart quick gestures
the floating brown and white of the wings
like tiny pigeon angels of the invertebrate world
coming out only in night
seeking each tiny speck of Sun
drawn closer to some inner glow.


They'd reduce you.
Something I never could understand;
the Mighty Sun- the Lion of Oz in you.


On the edge,
I'm catching spark off you
and lighting a glint in my eye.


Reflections of wanting it all.


Eyes so wide
the black fog of fire fills them
foaming tears 
to keep sight in inferno so intense.


But your bonfire is forever dear.


I will stand outside the veil of smog one moment
I have to catch my breath.


I guess like the moth 
I'll never know why you fear them.


Keeping us at a distance.


-Matthew Koutzun

Minotaur

Minotaur


It's me: Theseus.
You've locked me out the maze.
You are twists and turns you've mastered.
Not to trap me in.
But to keep me out.
I can vanquish you.
I can remove your head in bloody glory love.
I can stab you at your weakest.
And as much as you want it.
You hide in dark catacomb quiet.
I can live with you here.
But can we take it outside?
I've learned to love in the light.
Much like you knew and wanted.
I can lead if you lead me out the ways.
I can follow if you allow one to follow.
I can vanquish you.
I will.
Let me.
I will.
Let me.
I will.
Let me.
Let me.
Let me.
Let me.
Please.
Open corridor.
Door.
Passageway.
Out.
I can take the violent monster in me.
Take the monster too.
Calm his horns in me by filing down yours.
Brush back his hair.
By taming yours.
Take him in your arms and model him down.
Back into the gentle man I used to be.
I'm lost in mazes without my man.
My man in animal you.


-Matthew Koutzun

One Round Hero

One Round Hero

That's how he works

sucker punches you with love

sets up his left

and then throws in his hug.

Bloody fists flying

fucking up wrongs made now right

ducking and weaving

taking fight over flight.

Gonna bandage my wounds

after he's flung the last blow

sucker punch with me with love

it's the one thing I know.

-Matthew Koutzun


For my Father.

Coward Pretender -or- Sate

Coward Pretender
-or-
Sate


Coward Pretender
come let me know better.
Let me in through the crook
and lift up veil armour.


I'm coming in where it's uneasy
treading on ground you wish still.
Going to rock this ship lightly
till from cup you must spill.


Oh, I do know the answer
but from your lips I will take.
Cause only the truth from a coward pretender
will my hunger be sate. 


-Matthew Koutzun

One Dove.

One dove.


Nesting here.
One Dove.
Coveting forever.
One Dove.


One doves
hold time.
What matters
one dove.


One dove.
Nesting here.
One dove.
Always remembers.


No magic
No hat
No veiled cage
Brings one dove back.


A magician never reveals their tricks.
One dove never forgets one dove.


-Matthew Koutzun