When You Try To Leave That Mountain (3)

When You Try To Leave That Mountain (3)

Up on the hill,
nothing between you and the sky,
there's nothing to stop you or will.

All you survey
will all be yours one day
if you only give it all up right now.

And looking all around you
a smile in your heart
a heat in your hand
you can't recall when once you felt like this before.

The wind in your hair
and the soft in your eyes
the stone rocks in your chest taking flight.

It's where no one would come,
and yet here you are,
it's no place and yet it's your home.

-Matthew Koutzun

When You Reach the Top of That Mountain (2)

When You Reach the Top of That Mountain (2)

Stepping over rock and bound
you climbed up the mountain.


Hate in your heart
and stagnant love in your chest
you pushed on up the mountain.


And crystal streams yeilded water
and for them you did not stop
what a reward you thought for all the bad you done if you drank.


And pushing onward and up
over boulder and tree
tears flowed hot then steamed cold as you saw it.


Clear blue sky and pearl soft clouds.
You made it and now you are home.

-Matthew Koutzun

When You Climb Up That Mountain (1)

When You Climb Up That Mountain (1)

Swimming in the valley
with pure petals snagged in hair,
you never thought you'd climb the mountain.

You danced in Autumn sun
and pranced in Winter snow,
never knowing the the spring would bring a hot thaw.

Ate roses from the vine
and drank serpentine straight
everyday the last and never was.

But the Summer has come
the sweet girl's lies have been revealed
and the mountain calls a name for you and it's yours.

-Matthew Koutzun

Catch:Caught

Catch:Caught

I'm catching myself,
in moments like these:
losing myself,
my neck craning to the side,
a tingle in my thighs
an ache to push forward
and beyond.

And I catch myself-
Liar.
I think.
You are much too dramatic.
"This feeling is much too verbose to be real.
It's made up in your mind,"
the net says to me as it snatches such time I've had
and steals it away.

But I whine,
"What if it's real?
What if the dream's not a lie?"

"How foolish you are.
Things without force-
things without weight-
things without touch-
lies you've made up
you silly fool."

"But they do touch me here"
Placed hand.
"And they pressure press here"
A firm grasp.
"And they deliever a blow, solid, always here..."

"See and I don't understand that...
I don't supposed I ever will,
so what do I do now?"

"I guess you'll just have to do
what you're meant to:
catch me when I fall when and if I do."

-Matthew Koutzun

One of these Days

One of these Days

That boy is going to get hurt one of these days;
and if he's not careful it will be soon.

He's up on the ladder,
no one beneath him,
watching to make sure it's stable.


He's gonna fall one of these days;
if he's not careful soon.

Cause he's out into traffic,
not paying attention,
head always in a book.


He'll be gone one of these days;
because he's not careful.

Since he's playin' with hearts,
not watchin' his own,
it will turn on him when it breaks.

-Matthew Koutzun

Getting it Done.

Getting it done.

Getting it done
doesn't have to be a hard thing.
It doesn't even have to be a thing at all.

We trust in others to do
what we know ourselves
we can do.

And we wait for magic realignment
for things to be just right,
before we can even dare take a step.

But jump, and leap, and do!
It's not a thing, you can't trust others, and it won't align.
But hey, you knew that didn't you?

-Matthew Koutzun

Thanks Molly

Thanks Molly

Thank you for the money you gave me,
but thank you more for the time you spent:
to listen- hear- remember my story.
It was the moment we took with each other
how you stopped and we
con(re)versed.
How I watched you go, with a smile on your face
onward leaving me there
because I knew I had to stay.
the coffee keeps me warm
but less than other things.

Thanks,
Molly

-Matthew Koutzun

If you're found in the Ocean (3)

If you're found in the Ocean (3)

Hold,
be bold,
remember what you're told,
because you'll want to remember
how to get back to me again.

-Matthew Koutzun

If you're lost in the Ocean (2)

If you're lost in the Ocean (2)

Rip.
Tide.
Run.
Hide.
You can keep it.
Don't fear I'll take it back.
The time will come when you need it.
And so will the time when we can share it.

-Matthew Koutzun

If you're lost in the Ocean (1)

If you're lost in the Ocean (1)

Shifting.
Changing.
Rearranging.
Everything physical can and will wear.
But keep and covet a tiny place in time for me.

-Matthew Koutzun

The Lord of Small Gods

The Lord of Small Gods

You said I had an angel
who hung about my shoulders
and tries to make me a saint.


I could not find one about you.

Even though I thought I could
if only I looked at you and then them
from the corners of my eye.


I Still could not find one on the edge of your frame.

But then I saw it
from the base of your saucer
the tea cup rested on the plate.


I saw it- it entered and disappeared so quick.

Like a small ant crawling towards you
and gone in a blink,
Lord of the Small Gods is what you are I think.

-Matthew Koutzun

And That's Another Matter

And That's Another Matter

Safe and sounds
Fresh off the mounds
Soft and touch
Yet not too much

From not enoughs
To being to tough
Till endings come
Enough not from

Fill from begin

-Matthew Koutzun

I Envy the Singer

I Envy the Singer

I envy the singer
more than anyone else.
Voice born from a chest
with nothing more than air.

I'm jealous of their gift
of letting out
that burn, that rush,
from wanting to be heard.

It comes on the street to me:
a pressure,
in my lungs
freed in a scream- a song.

But I sound terrible
you wouldn't want to hear me;
there may be pressure
but surely not beauty.

So envy the singer.
Beauty in chest.
Sing on unhindered-
know that you're heard.

-Matthew Koutzun

Came Calling

Came Calling

The Devil called
and I came a calling
gliding
sailing
into sin so sweet.

And retribution comes
and it came to me
fierce
furious
and packaged as love.

-Matthew Koutzun

Under my Nails

Under my Nails

In the morning I'm in my own bed again.
It was warm and full of heavy heat
of nightmares and thoughts and disturbed sleep.
And I wake up and am languid for about an hour
till I bring my hand to my face again,
nails in my mouth and stench caught to my senses.

It can't be me and it isn't.

I smell the rest of my hands and it's no where but the nails.
I dig my teeth in under and scrape the loose flesh
and the deposits from underneath.
I spit them out and want to brush my teeth-
I know the damage has been done,
but I go to the mirror anyways.

It can't be me but it was.

-Matthew Koutzun