So You've Beaten Me -or- Into Submission

So You've Beaten Me
-or-
Into Submission

To the punch
To the line
To the ribbon
Left behind.

Winner Circle
Laurel Wearer
Golden Child
Versimilitude.

Lights bright
Blinding suns
Cocking stare
Behind you still.

-Matthew Koutzun

That Middle

That Middle

It's always in the middle
that you find it's wrong for you.
And afterwards the Shakes come.
To your arms and hands.
It looks as if you are still in the mirror.
But you rest your hand on something:
THE COUNTER-HAND
your arm:
you shake,
your eyes were shaking with you.
That's why you looked so still.
But the middle, {takes deep breath}
that middle,
the one you pined for
meddled for
and coaxed over,
is wrong-
for you.
Maybe not another,
but for you
yes.
And the shakes
that shake you now
still can't shake you out of thought;
the ones you have now in the middle-
that middle.

-Matthew Koutzun

Vino Up

Vino Up

I drank Jesus,
red in the bottle,
and warm down my throat.
Bread as a body,
and soft on the tongue,
absorbing to the red vino.
But was he in me,
eminating from within
a deep desire of dreadful deed.
Oh, I am saved,
on the floor,
and the floor is saved on me.
I force him up on white,
and for once am empty,
and hungry for more.

-Matthew Koutzun

Verb Sintax Date

Verb Sintax Date

Pull
Hard
Move
Fast

-Matthew Koutzun

Given a Glass

Given a Glass

Oh,
stop thinking half empty
and realize half full-
or better yet
drink,
and be refreshed.

-Matthew Koutzun

Desert Tastes

Desert Tastes

It is a dry and dirty flem,
that sticks fills cracks to the back
to the once smooth roof of your mouth,
when you discovered the absence of taste.
You bring it forward with your tounge
and squeeze your neck to push it forward,
only to spit it out into the toilet or sink;
a yellow and clear fluid that sticks in cold water.
And you drink something sweet
which only reminds you of the absence
and brings back the thick muck to your throat
that you must travel again to expell.
And sour is only worse in this form
for it nutrilizes and commends the form stronger
enforcing the difference between such loss
and the reminder of there being more than this.
But what finds the horror gracious relief
is only one and the same to the cause,
a delicious demise of liquid emptiness
found everywhere around but one will not drink.

-Matthew Koutzun

The Urgency of Honesty

The Urgency of Honesty

In the urgency of honesty
jealousy rears a beautiful face
of fear and of anger
of not being the center of anothers.

In the temptation of fate
fear makes us calous
of what we have and know
of the center of another.

In the deftness of decision
indecisiveness balances driving time
of how long we are and could be
of the another being the center.

-Matthew Koutzun

A Concentrated Effort

A Concentrated Effort

Beatrice commended me on my efforts
and my terrible steed,
cause she'd seen a man twice the likes of me.

He had walked heaven and hell-
down to icy depths
and up.

But still she thinks him
half of me
because his chest he kept shut.

-Matthew Koutzun

a breath of end

a breath of end

A lifeline from the dead,
and from it a deadlife:
a body filled:empty-sorrow.
A message to one,
and no-one:
a non-entity:life and holy.
A moment spent
and vulenerable:
weakened hard:soft event.
A deadline mixed
and throaty:
raw lung:breath of end.

-Matthew Koutzun

In a Graveyard

In a Graveyard

I keep a tombstone
on my answering machine.
A verbal epitaph,
which you leave,
and that I save till you leave another.

It's a graveyard
of hope,
and of waining
untill there's another
to wain on.

In this graveyard,
you can hear howls,
and muffled tears,
of those still there
and those still gone.

In a message,
from the dead,
near dead,
or those dead;
in ways that should not be,
you can hear those sounds
and others
similar to a beat.

-Matthew Koutzun

Thinking in We

Thinking in We

I want to drop singular pronouns,
good perhaps for war, rungs on ladders, masterbation.
I want to leave them behind-
they hinder me and create deception; in tricking me that I am one soul.
I want to erase them from that book of words,
since they have no meaning in the hot world of love.
And I want to forget those years; they had in my mind,
and start thinking in we.

-Matthew Koutzun

Repent

Repent

ye sinners
lie in the river Styx
relieve you of your pains
many though they are
they have no hold on thee
as the more you have
the more thy shall sink
and wallow
in the river
and forget why thee came
what motives have brought ye here
and lie not breathing
that
forgotten
you knew all along
you'd be here

-Matthew Koutzun

Respect

Respect

I wished to
see speak smell
of sweet yellowed gold honey
and tempered pouched ambrosia
like you.

To sit at your table
eat your feast
and become you
with your
bountiful meal you created.

I filled my gullet
perged my soul
and looked to the mirror
after my stool
I saw me- cried.

I ate again
sweet nectar
even drank it from your lips
I consumed you-
and found you to be mortal.

Still was I
and you be you
and you sat from me
the other side
I'll keep the distance- but close the gap.

-Matthew Koutzun

I Experimented in College; Don't Ask Me Why

I Experimented in College; Don't Ask Me Why

What a lab-
the test tubes are lying
scatt
ered
everywhere.

There was a tube for each one-
of what?
I can not dare to say-
or even to explain;
that would be heracy of the highest regard.

They'd have my head at the institution
if they knew I dived into this research.
It's not valid
they say
It's not fesible
they say,
but what I say,
is that each tube released me.
Filled me with a new e-----n.

I can't say...
because my findings are inconclusive.
They have holes in them everywhere,
not in their palpiblity-
but in that with each bottle
a new hole was made
and only myself
others
and ---
could fill them.
But he's inconclusive around here too.

I tested them all,
and now they all reside in me,
and they were right to warn me;
my mentors.
Because logic can't control me now.
How I f--l now is new,
I could not f--l before.
I want to give it to others,
but who knew that was impossible?
If only test tubes were real.

-Matthew Koutzun

Autoplay and the Ms. Presets

Autoplay and the Ms. Presets

Bang Bang Bang
Autoplay
The Ms. Presets play drums, bass, guitar.
Autoplay holds mic ,
licks the tip-
says it takes better moist.
Ms. Preset 1 says he licks too much
and takes off down off the stage.
Ms. Preset 2 says she can't believe she was 2 to 1
and takes off without a face.
And Ms. Preset 3 says he autoplays too much,
and grasps him by the mic before she leaves.
And Autoplay, to his dismay- don't care,
cause he's stuck in autoplay right now
Bang Bang Bang

-Matthew Koutzun