Sacraments

Sacraments

I denied myself chocolate today.
But I do not know whether I did it
for my mother,
or for Jesus.

Terrible weeks had come to me,
but through each I managed,
only once had to call in for the regime
that is my mother.

Helping me-
cleaning up the things that lay around me;
and in honour of her pride in me,
she bought me chocolate for the Easter Sabbath.

Placed in the fridge;
I kept it there, so it would not melt-
and today in a moment of self-indulgence over my achievements
I reached in to have the cocoa as my reward.

But I stopped,
and guilt wrapped around me.
My mother had bought me these for a special day,
a day for a man who gave all he had.

And I placed them back,
taking a fruit cup instead,
not knowing my motives,
whether religious or familial.

I think to my mother,
and I think on to the lord,
and find one soul,
both scaraments of my preservation.

-Matthew Koutzun