Untitled

Untitled

.


I thought this would be better-
you told me it would go back if we decided.
You promised.
You promised.
You promised.
You promised.
You promised.
You promised.
And it goes over in my head all the time.


But I guess I decided.
I decided it could not go the way it was.
and I thought back to a promise
knowing it my safety
my care for you.


But I guess promises are always broken
each day.
And I guess words are thrown around
each day.
Because I guess they mean the same
whenever they're said.


Not that I ever believe that.
I want them special-
rare-
sacred-


It makes me regret the change-
the shift as you say-
knowing it would "end" this way
not being able to go back-
as you said it would, you said.


I'm at pause
and all at once angry
that you won't be what you were.


I look back
and am angry at myself
when I entered it was
perhaps
because I feared it would all go away.


I would do anything for it not to go away.


But not every
thing.


I don't have many of you
or what you were
here.


.

-Matthew Koutzun