My Another New Year

My Another New Year

My another new year,
never comes on the thirty-first.
Although it comes every year,
it only comes to me,
in my own special way.

I thought hard
and angry
about why no one could
or would give me
the things I want the most.

Because I found myself wanting
and waiting
patiently
disappointed in everyone's actions
for themselves.

But waiting
silently waiting
I realized that no one of them
would
or could give me what I want.

Because I don't know what I want.

I thought it was material at times
and then wondered if it was physical
and then if it was emotional
and realizing all three
I had to hold it all back, and in.

I'm here for a short while
and the time I have is rare
to care about the small things,
although
they can and overwhelm me.

But here we go
again
it's my another new year-
full of empty canvases
with imagined rainbow wolves.

Because there is more I can give myself
playing in the real
and imagined
and the slightly absurd
in, and about, my new another new year.

-Matthew Koutzun

Untitled

Untitled

And you- what are you?
You don't look like any other vegetable I've found in my garden.
Nor fruit.
You. What are you?
Don't shy away.
You're dark and tough and not like the others.
But you're in my garden and that means you're mine just the same.
Does that make you feel good?
Does that make you warm inside?
I bet it does.
Do you wanna be with the others?
No,
Well we can sit here and wait till you're ready.
You need some time to grow?
Well don't we all.

-Matthew Koutzun

On the Edge of the Pool

Happy 3rd Birthday "Fine Imagery to Speak Low of"!

For those of you new, thank you for finding me. For those of you old, thank you for reading with loyalty (there are two of you). But the reality is that this is what I love to do, regardless of everything else, this is one of the things that keeps me present everyday: to know that maybe someone felt something or realized something or changed something, perhaps, from reading something, of mine. When you think about it, my blog is still a toddler!
So thank you for coming, send this to your friends and family! Who knows, maybe they'll like what they see!

On the Edge of the Pool

Dancing in the sun,
on the edge of the pool
a girl screams to her mother,
"Mommy- mommy!
Look at me!
Look at me!"

She jumps
head up eyes closed fist clenched
then fingering wildly flailing outwards
as if to catch some bar
some support
only to plummet down
beneath water tension
and legs kicking furiously up and out
hair spattered to face
mouth gapping for breath
saliva spitting out water.

She paddles looking about
eyes darting and flashing excitement
to the cataclysm she created.

On lookers smile at youth
old people fume wiping water off brow
and a mother chats with a friend.

The little girl gets out again
to walk in the sun
on the edge of the pool
to say,
"Mommy- mommy.
Look at me.
Look at me."

-Matthew Koutzun