Influenza

Influenza



I didn't know this would happen


One minute standing
and not only two seconds later
I'm on the floor boards.


Shaking and grasping around
not able to fuse it all.


I sometimes think I'm an adult
and then I wonder what would happen
without my family or mother or father or brother.


The laundry is piled higher in the basket
than the dishes in the sink
and my fever is getting higher still
and the vacuum hasn't been pulled out in weeks
and work is lying and conniving all the time
and not to mention I still miss you now that you're gone
and can't cool my forehead with the damp cloth
I only thought they used in movies
nor the body comfort of pulling you in during shivers
and away in the heat of this fever.


Oh it's all grappling and I thought I had it all together
but feverish nights and harrowing three in the morning phone calls later
proving I just a child experimenting these doorways
proving I'm just alone here and have nothing to take care of me
my thick skin thinner than it once was maybe because of this sickness
that has left me incapacitated for days.


-Matthew Koutzun