The Fall

The Fall


I'm walking the streets again at midnight.
Not in the same fashion as before.


I'm leaving friends in the night
and not sneaking around with some amore.


The fallen leaves remind me of the times spent outside of apartments
and in cramped closet bedrooms on a tiny mattress
that we cramped and comfortably jigsawed onto.


I'm walking the streets again at midnight alone
Not in the same fashion as before.


I have bags in my hands instead of yours
and they bite in with weight instead of levity.


The lamps don't light the night enough
and I'm drowning in headphones
playing the moodiest stuff I can to hold onto a feeling.


I'm entering the apartment I keep letting go
because I'm losing the notion that I really have to keep it neat for someone.


I stay up online searching for something
although I never know what it is.


The bed is large and looming
the sheets scattered and sloppy 
from heat and window cold


I'm sleeping again
glad to be in the night and away from it.


I'm walking the streets again
kidding myself we find these things twice.


-Matthew Koutzun