To the Enforcer;

To the Enforcer;

Oh, you dirty dog you.
I saw you eye me up on the way in
and don't think I didn't feel
the strings of longing you attached to me
snip
and snap back at you
as I severed them-
shutting with car door scissors.

After the Feeler had left
you showed your true colours
the ones you'd been showing with your eyes
not your touching feel.

I know you sir,
and I've played the game
but that's not to say I didn't have a good time
taking a round with you tonight.

Because Mr. Enforcer
with tease and cute torture
you touched and tried to force me to feel
and you tried to help me discover
what I already know
and seeing I knew you thought you could bust on through
without having a key to the door.

But Mr. Enforcer
as the doors one key holder
I can say you're attempts
were bold and were brave
but as I said to you both
in a letter before
you're confusing the touch
with the gain.

-Matthew Koutzun

Untitled for a Reason

Untitled for a Reason

I was just realizing that I wasn't really horny-
just wanting to be horny.
Wanting to be attracted to something.
Wanting want and longing.

I didn't buy one yet,
because I'm waiting for the real thing.

Discriminating romance
in turn for the touching gain.
But I'm realizing I'm not horny-
I guess we'll have to wait.

-Matthew Koutzun

Skin Series 4: Skinned Alive and out the Window

Skinned Alive and out the Window

Here I am in you.
Ready to finally see you.


I took my sweet time:
concealing
manipulating
and recoiling you.
But perhaps I'm ready or not-

here I come.

Touch and scratch
and mark and taste
and squeezed
too pressed
and bit with ease.

Oh, I'm aiming too hard again
and missing some point or target
on the horizon-

line to be checked and crossed.

Here is where it happened.
.I am not my cells.

Evaporating slowly
I am dissolving
in air solution
and in CO2 problems.

I am not with you anymore-
happy because I never was
or will.

Holding me down,
I leap outside
baring all while wearing none.
I'll leave the skin behind.

-Matthew Koutzun

Spider in my Eye Line

Spider in my Eye Line

Driving home,
spider in my eye line.
It crawls the dash
and stops periodically out of reach.

I want to hit it-
smash it
take it-
flick it out the window I just rolled down
and trash it.

But it's there plucking about
darting into vent and out
spinning web
down from dash to floor
and has vanished.

The night has darkened everything
and I've lost him from sight
only the light from head lights flashing
front to back
front to back
give me any light to the situation.

And staring to the floor mat I look up
having crossed a lane,
but it's 1:37 in the morning
and the cars are sparse
and sparser still
now that they've sped away
to get away from my
swerving discretion.

But the spider gone
is where everything else is found
because he is on me
I can feel him on me
or perhaps he's waiting next to me.

I feel tingle
and touch
on me
and in me
and my eyes strain darkness
to find the spider.

I want him there
an exact there
rather than an everywhere,
please, not everywhere.

I look up and focus
but hairy legs consume me
and my eyes are back on the floor
the dash
the clothing he could be tucked into
next to me.

But why am I afraid-
what harm could he do-
they say there is a spider
always three feet away from us at all times-

...
fuck, why do I have to think.

-Matthew Koutzun