My Prayer of Absolution

My Prayer of Absolution

Our Father
who art in heaven
please forget my prayers.

I've said so many
and even though they have not come yet,
I fear for if they do.

Most are selfish
or are for others
and not what they might want anyways.

I'm afraid
that they'll come,
that I'll have to confront them:

The dirty ones I've asked of you.
Why did I have to believe in you like a lover?
Friends could have just been fine.

But no,
I believed in you like an invisible hand;
one that strokes behind the answer curtain.

So please God, forget my prayers,
even this one,
lets start fresh.

I've taken to sleeping
forgetting to ask for forgiveness
in hopes you'll forget just the same.

I've taken to dreaming
to stop me from scheming
from praying for things we don't need.

-Matthew Koutzun