Loving the Deep End

Loving the Deep End

Swimming in my trunks
they stick and suction to my legs
as I'm six.

A memory of the few I have
from that time
when I was six.

Feirmont Springs.
Hot though they were we stayed at the hotel pool
coolly swimming in the sun.

We'd sit in the grass
and eat fries
discussing how best to put the ketchup:

on the fries or on the side?

Here I had cotton candy ice cream
tasting nothing like it
but only of sugar and syrup.

But still I got and get it every year I go
even though I'm lactose intolerant now;
how age will deny you.

But at the pool in my swimming trunks
too long
and me jumping in the deep end to swim.

Doggy paddle none other.

My mom annoyed with me
trying to relax
I hanging onto her neck making her drown.

She would pull me off
and swim further and further
as I tried to swim and grab a hold.

But I would tire in the middle
and she would say not to be in the deep end
if I could not swim alone.

My head would depart under the water.

Her knees would bob me back up
and then she would assist me to the shore
and not long after I would do it again.

Looking back I don't know why
I kept going back
to drown and swim to reach her.

All I know now
is I swim the deep end alone
and I'll be here long after.

-Matthew Koutzun

Finally Something:

Finally Something:

It's a breakthrough
it's a moment
it's a minute space on clock.

It's a tempest
and it's roaring
and it's tearing through the hush.

It's a marvel
it's full of grace
it's my slow and even pace.

It's coming
and it's here
and it's whispered into every ear.

That it's finally made it
it's finally something
it's finally here to stay.

It's a feeling
it's my calm
it's the lulling of my hymn.

It's my prayers
come to life
and the accepting of a sin.
Oh, how to begin?

I guess I'll just have to.
The window's open.
The summer's breeze so nice.

-Matthew Koutzun

Across a Mountain range I'm Moved

Across a Mountain range I'm Moved

I cry for someone else in love.
I feel fear and disappointment and am moved.

I see future glimmer and I hope.

I touch opportunity's fissure and I shiver.

I love for not need or want,
but in hoping for another.

Maybe this is turning over.

Leaves fall from the tree out side

although it's the beginning of summer,

I feel the season changing.

-Matthew Koutzun